Instead of writing big, clunky, rambling chunks of virtually unreadable prose for every single post here, occasionally I'm going to just toss out some fleeting thoughts about the topic at hand wherein I'll throw out multiple songs on which I'm sure you'll sink $.99 immediately upon reading the post. We're gonna end this love theme with some good ol' fashion creepy love songs.
Its Me Again, Margaret - Ray Stevens
Has there ever truly been a creepier love song? Here, the genius that brought you the Mississippi Squirrel Revival, The Streak, and Ahab the A-Rab brings you what might be the only popular* song that includes a laugh track. All you need to know about this song lies in the fact that the only comment about this song on imeem is, "This songs the funnyest"
Choice Lyrics: "I know it's you Margaret... are ya nekkid?" "I bet you can't guess what I'm doin."
Every Breath You Take - The Police
Quick Recipe for a Restraining Order:
1. Buy blank CD
2. Open iTunes
3. Create playlist entitled, "At least 500 yards at all times"
4. Add "Every Breath You Take" by the Police to playlist
5. Repeat 16 times
6. Deliver to object of affection while wearing assless chaps
Choice lyrics: "every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you"
bump and grind - R kelly
This song is just here to represent the fact that anything by R. Kelly should now fall squarely into the category of creepy love songs. Oh what's that? You don't see anything wrong with a little bump 'n grind? Well sorry R but the Illinois department of justice would beg to differ. By the way, he married a 15 year old Aaliyah right after this song was released... lock your doors.
*probably the hardest word choice I've ever made