Friday, March 6, 2009

Wait... WHAT did you do with Victorino's two friends?

Macarena - Los Del Rio

Add this organized dance song to a not-so elite group of songs that are almost universally loved by the boring, white, embarrass-yourself-while-singing-a-long-with-or-dancing-to-after-two-glasses-of-Berringer-Zinfandel crowd but aren't nearly as innocent and wholesome as those shouting them between vomit tinged burps would like to believe. If this pristinely described subgenre is not clear, let me direct your attention to songs like You Shook Me All Night Long,* Honky Tonk Woman**, Squeezebox***. This song, which I'm sure has been a part of elementary school dance presentations and church youth group lock-ins since its release is obscene on a level that would horrify Boy Scout den mothers the world over. The song subject matter ranges from basic shallowness to promiscuity to straight forward menage-a-trois all the while keeping up their absurd semaphore-esque^ dance of seduction.

All this makes it even funnier**** to watch entire rooms full of seemingly not-retarded adults gyrate indiscriminately to the hybrid Spanish/English lyrics which couldn't be more clear in terms of the nature of their subject. So really, pay attention next time you see your ex-Sunday school teacher soul clapping to this track at a chili cook-off and remind yourself that in doing so she is applauding the idea of group sex with Victorino's buddies.

So now getting down to business, what of the dance? It has had a few years to temper and slowly begin to die out (see: The Hustle) and in the process has become much less omnipresent and therefore much LESS annoying.... still though.

Drinks Rating: 7/10

*She told me to come but I was already there?
** She blew my nose and then she blew my mind?
*** The entire song
**** if that's even possible
^ Minus the flags of course. Come to think of it they almost look like they're signaling to other motorists that they're turning right on their motorcycles.

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